"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12



“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats





Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Yet ANOTHER Turn Of Events

I'm exhausted. I know I keep saying that, but even with sleep my mind is just continuously running.

Yesterday afternoon, we packed up after much encouragement from ICU doctors and nurses. Kai had a great night post surgery the first night and it was a gimmie that the adenoids were the obstruction, not to mention we had clearly seen it in the endoscopy.

When the ENT surgeon did rounds, he heard that Kai had de-saturated a couple of times into the 80's. At that point, he said he wanted to go ahead and transfer him out of PICU and put him in a regular room for one more night of watching his sat (oxygen) levels. We were bummed and devastated. Scott, Kai and myself had already envisioned ourselves at home with the rest of the gang and it couldn't arrive soon enough.

But, on the flip side, I understood why they wanted to watch him. So, under protest and grumbling, we arrived in our new room around 7:30 p.m. Scott had to return to work the next day, so he left back to the west coast around 5 pm.

Arrangements were made last night that as soon as the doctor came in this morning and gave the discharge orders, my Mom would leave the little ones with my sister and head to Miami to pick us up. Just one more night. I could deal with that.

The new room is bright and cheery. They let me lay next to my baby boy and that in itself (because it wasn't permitted in ICU) made us both feel better. Kai fell asleep around 11:00 p.m. They had not yet hooked him up to the Sat monitor. Around 11:30, the nurse came him, hooked him up and said, "Goodnight".

I watched the news, which included horrible news of 2 babies dying here MCH in the NICU from a bacterial infection that is spreading, and shut off the TV set around midnight. I, of course, began watching the numbers on the Sat monitor. They would range from 95-100 and back to 95. This continued for maybe another 20 minutes.

I prayed over my little guy and asked God to please continue to have him improve. A few minutes later, the numbers began dipping into the low 90's. Not ideal, but still OK enough for me to keep repeating to myself, "It's OK. He's OK." over and over.

I drifted off to sleep with those thoughts, only to be startled awake by the monitor's screeching alarm. He was down to 84. Then back up to the 90's. I prayed again that it was a fluke. A one-time thing. I was wrong. He spent the night fluctuating from the 90's to the low 80's and even dipping all the way down to 72 around 3 a.m. I noticed he held his breath a few times and counted the seconds before I saw him breathing again. The longest period was about 5-6 seconds. He is not gasping for air like he was prior to surgery, but it was by far not an easy night at all.

Now I remain confused. We were told swelling would set in 24-72 hours after surgery. Could that be the reason for his Sats going down? Is there still an obstruction there? And the worst of my thoughts have to be could Dr. Ego have been somewhat correct? Does his flap have to be taken down? So many questions floating in my head this morning. Are we going home? Probably not. Back to the ICU? Maybe. Will Kai have to go back into surgery? Oh, Lord Jesus, please let the answer to that be an emphatic, "NO!" In the end, I have answers to nothing. Today is day 8 that Kai has been in the hospital. I'm calling Kai's cleft surgeon in Orlando this morning and picking his brain.

I find myself, once again, scared, weary and weak. This time a bit worse because Scott is not by my side. I know God is by my side. By Kai's side. I also know there is a reason for all of this.

We now wait for the doctor to make his rounds. As I type this, he still sleeps. Alarms have gone off twice. 83. 82. I know I don't have to ask for prayers, because it is because of your prayers that we are being sustained. Thank you.

A very sad Mama.....

24 comments :

day by day said...

Awww....I am SO sorry, Ohilda!! Know we are praying for you and love you! Keep the updates coming so we know how to pray for you each day.

Hang in there, my friend! Sending lots of love and ((hugs)) your way!!!

The Ferrill's said...

Ohilda...I know how disappointing it is when things don't get better like we would like them to...and I can feel your heart and how READY you are for this ordeal to be over. I know somehow, someway, God is moving and working on Kai's behalf. Romans 8:28
I just wish I could make it better for you...I am praying praying praying and praying some more...I know the sunshine is going to come out of these clouds and until that happens we will be on our knees....

Jill said...

OH! That really stinks...I pray that as I type this the doctor has been in with reassuring plans for Kai! NO MORE SURGERY! God has the plan all packaged up tidy for you!

Ruth said...

Ohilda - Praying for extra strength and peace this morning. I pray that it is just from swelling from surgery and Kai will be fine very soon!!!
Blessings,
Ruth

Aus said...

The language filter will have killed my comment had I typed what I am feeling! I am still pretty sure that it's the swelling that is responsible - so hang tough and be firm in your Faith! Regardless - he isn't struggling as hard as he was - and - if the problem isn't solved let it be discovered now rather than later! Pulling for you - hugs

aus and co.

Terynn said...

Wait. What?? WHAT?? Oh no. Ohilda! I just knew today was going hoe day. Discharge Day. Family Reunion day. I am crushed and devastated on your behalf. What a long and unpredictable path this has been.

Dear Lord Jesus: Day 8. Who would have known, but You. Lord we are confused and have definitely come to the end of our wisdom, knowledge and predictions about the course of this illness/condition. I picture You (maybe?) with a bemused smile and a "'bout time" expression.

Lord, we love you. Lord we trust You. Lord, we are helpless before You, utterly dependent upon You. Please, Lord, show Yourself strong in the area of Kai's healing. Give the doctors supernatural wisdom. Guide their thoughts and their actions. Settle Kai's fears. Infuse Ohilda with Your peace that passes understanding.

Give her children at home an ease that would not be expected under such circumstances. I pray that you are with each of Scott and Ohilda's precious children, filling each of them, according to their unique needs. Let them not for one minute!!! feel abandoned or less important, due to the extended time apart from Mama and Baba.

Lord, we are on our knees, faces bowed, seeking Your face. Help, Lord. Please help. In Jesus' name...Amen.

Terynn said...

ummm...."going hoe day?"...yikes. Should read..."going HOME" day.

Waitingfaithfully said...

Oh Sweet friend, my heart is heavy for you. We will continue to pray for Kai's complete healing, and for the Lord to wrap His huge arms around you and hold you tightly in this storm.

Father, please be with Ohilda and give her strength, be with Scott and give him peace as he has to be away from all that is going on. Be with the children at home as they wait to be reunited with their mama and their Kai Kai. Be with Ohilda's mom and sister as they care for the children. Father we ask that you give Kai's doctors wisdom as they care for him, and we pray for complete healing of Kai's breathing problems. In Your mighty name, Amen

Love you friend, and continuing to lift you up along with many others,

Tina

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry! Day 8. Ugh. Praying for peace and rest for both of you, and for HEALING!

Tami said...

O~

I'm so sorry for the turn of events....I hope you can continue to draw comfort and strength first and foremost from Him, but also from the MANY people that are there with you in thoughts and prayers.

Ohilda.....This might be crazy, but I have to ask, are the the doctors sure his tonsils aren't involved?? Nathan had to have his adenoids out when he was 5, and in the weeks prior to surgery, I remember my ENT asking us to monitor his sleeping for any sign of breathing distress/sleep apnea which would indicate tonsil involvement. Luckily for us, there was none, so he didn't have his tonsils removed. I'm sure this has been addressed but I just thought I'd through that out there.

Sending hugs....Tami

He And Me + 3 said...

Wow...I am praying peace and rest as well as healing. Exhausted thinking of your time there.

Angie said...

I am so sorry this is going on so long! Just one night in the hospital after Ryan's surgery was exhausting to me...day 8 must be exponentially more exhausting. It is harder when hubbies are not able to be by our side through this, but you are right that God is with you and Kai. I will pray that you feel His calming presence throughout the rest of your hospital stay (which hopefully won't be long!)

Holly said...

Praying still and checking in.
Much love,
Holly

The Princess's Mommy said...

Still praying and praying. Oh bless your heart. I wish I were closer so I could come sit with you. Just know I'm thinking of you every single minute!! And from a nursing standpoint, I am hoping that it's just swelling and will correct itself in a day or two and REALLY hoping that Dr. Ego is still Wrong!!! :)

Love you,
Monica

Carol said...

Ohilda,
Im so sorry for all this and as always we have kept Kai in our family prayers! Hoping you get good news...soon. Kiss that baby for us!!
Carol

denise said...

I am so sorry to hear about Kai. I'm praying that God will heal your little guy and make him well very very soon. It must be so difficult for you. Again, my prayers are out for you all!

Love In Christ
Denise
from Mi.

Jewels of My Heart said...

(Big Hug) I am so sorry Ohilda.... but I am so thankful that they didn't just send him home. I thank Jesus they are watching him and making certain everything is ok so that he isn't in harm's way. I know you must want to go home disparately. One day very soon you two will be home.... we will keep praying that your little guy will be completely healthy!
God's Speed Home to you two.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Still praying! And sending lots of virtual hugs to you and Kai.

Sally- That Girl! said...

Ohilda, All I can say is that I am so sorry and can so well relate. This too shall pass!!! Keep your blog posted!

Charlliesweb said...

Still praying hard every day for you!!! I can't wait for Not Me Mondays where you have to rack your brain due to a dull week!

Big hugs girl!

Undercover-Princess said...

Monkey Butt's sats did that for quite sometime after having his adenoids removed. Every child heals differently. It may take longer than 24-72 hours for swelling to go down. Here in OK they yank em and send em home a couple of hours later.

Michelle said...

Ohilda,
I'm so sorry that you weren't able to return home as you had so hoped. I know how much you must miss your kiddos back home. You being able to snuggle up next to Kai did make me smile, though.

Still praying for your little guy!

Love,
Michelle

brocton14 said...

Ohilda,
I am also very sorry that this hospital stay didn't come to a hault. After reading your posts, hoping maybe it's swelling causing the low sat's, nothing else!!! Praying for you everyday!!!
Patty

The Ferrill's said...

Praying tonight for a miracle!!!!!!! Nothing is impossible with God!!!!!!!

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