"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats

Friday, September 7, 2012

Sit Still, Will Ya? PART I

Those are the words that God has been shouting at me lately. 

If you recall, THIS POST was written almost a year ago to the day.  So much has happened in this past year.  Our lives have been turned upside down, and inside out, during this time.  For those of you that have followed me solely on our blog, you've probably thought I've been hanging out without much to say.  It's actually been quite the opposite.  So much has happened since that post that as I've gone back to read it, it's blown me away how much life has changed.

To recap the old post in a few short words....life had crumbled.  We had lost pretty much everything we owned.  We had a job.  Lost a job.  Had money.  Lost money.  Changed denominations in the midst of it all (a whole other post all together),  and well, pretty much life got in the way of every plan we had made.  

Through it all, we remained faithful to our Creator and knew in our heart of hearts, that He indeed, had a much bigger plan.  A plan so big that our feeble minds could not dare to imagine.   

One morning, during our homeschool bible time, reading the book of Genesis to the kids, God spoke very loud and clear to me. (I have found that when I am teaching them, is when I learn the most.) He was sending us to 'The Promised Land'.  (Genesis 12:1)  The only problem was, that like Abraham, he didn't tell us where that 'Promised Land' was.   But, I knew then for sure, that we were leaving Florida.

That plan came to fruition 3 months later, at the end of December 2011, when sweet hubby was offered what he thought was his 'dream job'.   If he wanted this job, which paid exactly what we had been asking for, with all the perks thrown in, he'd have to move within 3 weeks of accepting it.  We knew the entire family couldn't make that move, so we planned for his finding a place to live and starting the new job while I remained in Florida with the 4 kids for 5-6 months.

On January 4, we drove up to Charlotte, NC (yes, 'The Promised Land') and left Daddy to start our new life, without us.  Again, this arrangement would be for only five or six months, until Amanda completed all her schooling and she'd be ready to head for college.

To say it was tough living without Daddy at home, is an understatement.  The kids were missing him terribly and so was I.  Skyping was just not all that it was chalked up to be.  Financially, we were carrying now two households in expenses and in 2 months, we were only able to see Daddy for 1 weekend.  The kids were miserable.  I was miserable and sweet hubby felt completely helpless.  We prayed and prayed and finally came to peace that God did not want our family apart.

We agreed the family would move up to North Carolina at the end of February.  That left me with lots and lots of packing (thank God for Amanda!), making arrangements for a huge interstate move and feeling stretched some days more than Elastigirl on The Incredibles.  On the other hand, I was incredbily sad and anxious about leaving Amanda behind, because she didn't want to leave Florida, and of course, my two big boys and the rest of the family, whom I knew I wouldn't be seeing often, anymore.   Amanda and I agreed that if she buckled up on school work and was able to finish, she could stay behind with her bio Dad, and it would only be a two or three months before she'd head to the east coast of Florida to get ready to start her own new life also, as a college student and adult.   To say the least, our lives were a whirlwind.

Finally, the end of February rolled around, and with help from family and Daddy who had flown down, we loaded up a very large moving truck and trailer with everything we owned and moved to a very small little town about an hour outside of Charlotte.  It was perfect!  Our new church family that sweet hubby had attended a whopping 3 times, turned out to greet us with over a dozen people to help us unload our truck, feed us, and welcome us to small town, USA.  The place we now were going to call home.  My Mom had come up with us to stay for a couple of weeks and help me unpack and settle in.  I was gearing up to restart our homeschooling and loved sitting outside in the mornings listening to birds chirp, smelling the farm lands that surround us and peering over the hills and beauty that only God could create.  I did that for a whole TWO days, before everything came crashing down....again!

On the third morning of being at our new home, the phone rang at 9 am.  The kids were just waking up and it startled me because really, no one called us.  We had just had our phone installed.  I look at the caller ID.  It was sweet hubby.  I immediately sensed something was terribly wrong.  His words were soft spoken as he said, "Honey, can you come pick me up?"   I said, "Of course.  Is everything okay?  What happened?"  He said, "I'm  not really sure, to be honest.  I was let go.  It came out of nowhere.  I haven't not had a job since I was in my early 20's."   He sounded sad and distraught.  I was confused, but mostly my heart hurt for him.

How could this be?  God had orchestrated this plan.  The move.  The job.  The small town.  The church.  Everything.  It was perfect!  "It was supposed to be perfect, Lord.  Why are you doing this?", were my thoughts, over and over, as I drove the hour to Charlotte to pick up my sweet husband.

That night, we prayed together, as we did the day after that, and the day after that.  My first thought was, "Let's not even unpack.  We could go back to Florida, live with my Mom for a month or two until we get our lives together."  But, Scott said something that clearly made sense.  He reminded me that if I believed with all my heart that God had orchestrated this move.  Then, it was no surprise to Him.  He knew Scott would be losing his job just 2 days after our moving here.  He could have had him lose the job the week prior.  Then, for sure, there would have been no move.  But, He allowed it, and He allowed it for a reason.  A reason we couldn't see.  But, we knew then, that He whatever the plan was, it was supposed to unfold here, in a small town, in North Carolina.

UPDATE:   PART II could be read HERE.

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