"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats

Friday, November 23, 2007

Today marks ten bliss-filled, wonderful years that Scott and I have been together. For those of you that do not know how Scott and I met, we met on internet. I was going through some tough times ending a marriage and my oldest son had recently suffered a life threatening accident. As much as I wanted, and needed the Lord in my life, he wasn't front and center at the time.

Late one night, in a chat room using Comic Chat (I laugh even thinking about it now), I met this man. He lived in Connecticut, was divorced and had a 9 year old daughter. He was dating someone at the time and just seemed so genuinely nice. I remember time slipping away so quickly that night. I headed to bed and when I glanced at the clock it was 4 a.m! I couldn't believe it. I remember thinking to myself, "what a nice man!". He remembers me saying, "I don't cook"...heh! The rest is history. Nine months after that night, he left everything behind and followed his heart....to Florida. Then, two years later, on his parent's anniversary, in the center of Quincey Market in Boston he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. It was a moment when time stood still. It was December 16, 2000. The snow was falling outside and the sun was just rising. Shop keepers were opening up their stores and it all just seemed like a fairy tale. I felt like Cinderella when the glass slipper fit her foot. It's been that way for 10 amazing years.

I am no stranger to marriage and if I had not met Scott, would probably be giving Elizabeth Taylor a run for her money. But this man stopped me in my tracks. One of our first conversations was about the bible and God, and at the time, he didn't even go to church. But his knowledge so impressed me. He is everything I had ever envisioned a husband, and father, should be. He is smart, kind, loving, gentle, supportive, a hard worker and wonderful provider. (I will leave the more personal stuff out, but let me just add that the thought puts a smile on my face!)

The Lord used Scott to lead me back on that narrow path, that I had been missing for so long. After my Lord and Savior, Scott is the one that is my rock and my strength. When times are tough, he lifts me up and when there are moments of rejoicing, he magnifies those moments so that they appear 10,000 times better than they are. He is my prince charming who carried me away to a life that I could only have dreamed of. He took everything from me that has ever caused pain in my life and had sheltered, protected and loved me to no end. I am indeed the luckiest woman in the world.


I tell you often, but I want to remind you again that you are the biggest blessing the Lord has ever given me. You make everything so much sweeter than it is. I love how you love our children and what a fantastic father and husband you are.

The dictionary says that a father is a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider and the definition of husband is a master of his house. Well, your picture should appear next to both those definitions, with neon lights flashing all around you. Your children adore you because you have earned that love and respect. My family loves you and you know that I cannot fathom a day without you. Jesus has graced you with the cement that binds us together as a family. Without you, our home would only be a house. Thank you for ten incredible years. I love you more than words could ever say.

Forever your wife,


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

This is a very special thanksgiving. Although I won't have ALL of my blessings sitting around the table this year, because Amanda will be with her Dad this holiday and Tito is not able to come up, we still have so very much to be thankful for.

Yes, we've had a tough year between attachment issues, financial struggles, medical issues and just plain life getting in the way, but regardless of all the trials and difficulties, I have a very thankful heart.

I have been blessed with so very much. Just waking up in the morning and being able to hear the giggles, (and sometimes fighting followed by screams...heh) of my babies, to have a beautiful teenage daughter who is a great kid, to have 2 grown sons who I am so very proud of, to be able to be a stay at home Mom, to be blessed with the most amazing husband, to have family that loves us unconditionally, to be able to have the gift of sight and see the sparkle in each of my children's eyes, to be healthy, to have friends that you can always count on to lift you up both emotionally and spiritually, to have clothes to wear and shoes to put on our feet, to have a a warm bed to sleep in every night, to have electricity, indoor plumbing, food on the table every day and a beautiful home, to live in the best country in the world...I could go on and on.

The bottom line is that I AM BLESSED and although things are not perfect, I am so very thankful for all that we have.

I leave you all with the Bombardier 2007 Thanksgiving Menu (and yes...I do ALL the cooking myself!)

From my very thankful heart, to yours, may each and every one of you be surrounded and reminded of your special blessings this Thanksgiving.

The Bombardier
Thanksgiving Menu

Oven roasted turkey with giblet gravy

Honey Glazed Sugar-Cured Ham

Baked corn casserole

Creamy sour cream & garlic butter mashed potatoes

Sweet potato soufflé

Baked apple sausage stuffing

Honey glazed cornbread

Homemade cranberry orange bread

Green bean casserole

Seven Layer Salad

Cranberry remoulade

Orange sherbet served in chilled navel orange cups

Pecan pie

Pumpkin Pie

Beer, wine, soda, tea and coffee

Monday, November 19, 2007

Just when you need Him

that's when He shows up. I know that you all know who I'm speaking of. God, of course.

This afternoon, while feeding Kai lunch, I don't know why, I had this urge to ask him to see his stitches. This is only the 2nd time since his surgery that I have done that since I know it hurts him to open wide and he is still very much in pain when he looks up. But, he complied. As I looked into his mouth, I felt like I was just sucker-punched. I realized that one of his stitches is opening up. I am by no means a doctor and although I am not 100% sure of what exactly I am looking at, I do know that when he opens and says "aaahhh", there is a gap in between two of the stitches. I tried so hard not to cry in front of him.

I finished feeding the kids, cleaned them up and put everyone into their car seats so we could pick up Amanda at school. While the three of them were busy chattering away, my mind was already thinking about the very probable surgery my sweet baby boy will have to have soon in order to correct this. Whether it's a fistula (a hole) or his entire palate falls apart, it doesn't matter at this point. I can't even fathom the thought of him being put under again, waking up in major pain, totally disoriented and feeling betrayed again. It's been 11 days since his surgery and he still ask me daily if "Mama go bye-bye?" It's so unfair. For the entire day I have felt sick to my stomach thinking about having to put him through all this pain, for nothing....only to have to do it all over again.

I put a call into the doctor, but haven't heard from him. I do know that the doctor said for me not to freak out (HA!) if his palate did open up. He reiterated that it would not be painful to Kai and certainly not something life threatening. We have an appointment next Monday, since Kai's doctor is in Orlando.

Tonight about 2 hours after I put him to bed, he woke up crying. Crying hard. I immediately took him out of the crib and he was still half asleep, but obviously hurting. I cradled him, sang to him and tried to get him to take some sips of water, but nothing soothed him. Finally, I was able to get him to take some Motrin and reassure him that Mama was with him and that I wasn't leaving. He fell asleep in my arms, sobbing softly in his sleep, while my tears drenched his little head. I prayed over him and asked the Lord to please let me be wrong. Let me walk into the doctor's office next week and have the doctor say to me, "the stitches are healing exactly as they should be and his palate is intact". After about an hour, I finally kissed him goodnight and layed him back down. He is sleeping soundly now.

The knot in my stomach remains. I can't stand seeing my children hurting. I'm sure there isn't a mother out there that could. It's killing me. I had a sweet friend remind me tonight that although Kai is going through so much now, what would his life have been like had he remained in China? I think of that often. I know the answer. He'd never have been able to speak. The thought sends shivers down my spine. I clearly want to erase any visions of the "what ifs" from my mind.

So, I sat here tonight after laying him down, just fooling around on the computer and waiting till I was tired enough to go to bed. God, as always, seems to intrude in my pity parties.

I decided to look at my site meter, which I don't do very often any more and noticed that a reader from Dallas (thank you!!!) had been to my site that was linked from another blog. I clicked on that blog and started reading. While I continued reading, I scrolled down to a post entry called "Ryan Hall". That caught my attention. Who the hec is Ryan Hall? Ryan Hall is an amazing young man. Soon you will see why for yourself. But tonight, he was even more amazing, because God led me to hear his message and reminded me (AGAIN! ...sheesh, Ohilda, when are you gonna learn?) that He was in control. There is no use in worrying when I can't do anything about it anyways. He is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the creator of the Universe. Who better can I turn to?

So, now again, I am asking all prayer warriors to join me as I am lifting up my little guy and handing him over to our Lord for complete healing, if that is His will. If Kai will indeed need another surgery in the next 3 months, than I know the Lord will give me the strength, and give him the courage to get through it.

To my readers, to Ryan and to my God.....thank you for the reminders. My heart is at peace knowing that God loves my baby boy and He is in control.

Here is Ryan Hall's story.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:25-34

Love's Journey 2 is here!

I am so thrilled that our copy of the beautiful Love's Journey 2 book has arrived!!!

Love Without Boundaries is an amazing organization that dedicates every cent raised to help the orphans of China.

While we were waiting on Kai, I purchased the original Love's Journey Book and have sat many times pouring over each story as I wiped away tears.

Well, this time is no different, except that we are honored that our adorable little man, Kai, and big sister Amanda, and "didi", AJ, are in the book!

I had submitted 2 photos and two entries, and they were both published. The first is on page 62, (click on the pictures to enlarge) which has my journal entry just hours before I held Kai for the first time.

The second entry is on page 153, which includes the miraculous story of how God orchestrated every detail in uniting us with our precious son.

This beautiful book has over 250 full color pages, filled with hundreds of photographs, essays, and poems about the Chinese adoption experience, and one of the things I love most about it, is that in the back there is an index of all the entries by family name. I have found so many friends and acquaintances that I have met along the way. What an awesome feeling to relive that magical moment, not only with my own child, but reading about and seeing the love in each and every child's face through pictures.

This is truly such a marvelous keepsake that I will cherish forever. I cannot wait until Kai (and Anna Grace) are older and we can share with them, through this book, the love that we had for them while we waited to hold them.

There are only going to be a limited number of copies published, so please do not wait to order yours. Not only will you be the proud owner of such a beautiful piece of work, but you will be helping a child in need since 100% of the proceeds go directly to the children of China. Click HERE to order your copy! I promise you won't regret it!

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