Words could never truly express the love I felt on this day two years ago and continue to feel to this day. Kai, we thank God every day for you being in our lives. You have changed who I am. I believe in my heart, through God, you have made me a better person. You are an amazing little boy and have blessed our family beyond measure.
Here is my entry from Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province, two years ago, along with the pictures we posted that day.
APRIL 3, 2006
Finally, 29 months and 10 days after we started our journey...
HE IS OURS!
As I turn my thoughts to Kai, I pray that he is feeling that same peace. That his little heart be filled with the sense of love that we have had for him from the moment we scrolled down that computer page back in December, when we "knew" he was our son. There will be 4 families receiving their children with us....all from YiWu. Two of the families are with our agency, and two are with another agency. We are the only ones bringing home a little boy. So, that will help in pointing him out! :) I am so scared of not recognizing him, yet part of me feels that I have stared at that little face for sooooo many hours that there is no doubt I can look into those beautiful, almond shaped eyes and not know who my son is. To my son:
I just want to tell you sweetie while we count down those last hours and minutes, that we understand the immense changes that you will be going through these next few weeks. We've heard you are very attached to your nanny and I thank God for that. That means that she has loved you and cared for you as best as she could. And in turn, I am praying that you have been able to reciprocate that love to her. Baby boy, please know that we will love you eternally. There is no bond stronger than that of Mother and Child. You were conceived in my heart and I have felt every second, of every day that I have waited for you, that you were meant to be ours. We love you with such an intense, powerful love already that I cannot imagine it getting any stronger, but I know it will....and yes, there will be many tough times, but we will make it through together, as a family. That is what families are for. And you, my little one, are now and always will be a part of ours. I love you more than words could ever say and I am counting down the minutes till I can look at your sweet face, give you kisses and feel your soft skin!! I love you so very much, Kai!!!
WE HAVE HIM!!!!!!!
Once there, our guide explains that the babies have already arrived. She also says that they are up on the 6th floor and that because there are no elevators, we'd have to walk up the stairs! Piece of cake...I'd walk up Mount Everest at this point, just get me to my boy. I ask Scott to turn on the video camera so we can record the long walk up the stairs. We open the door to the building and there are two Chinese ladies there with 3 very small babies. They were so cute! I had my camera out and was about to go into "baby stalk mode" when I hear the guide say....these are your babies. Then there was mayhem! Total confusion! At least in my mind there was. I hear Scott and my Mom say, "There's Kai!" I'm looking around saying..."Where? Where?" They keep pointing to the 3 little babies. I look at them closely and then notice that the little one in the middle is looking back...then I notice that faint scar on his lip! This was Kai! Oh my God! He was sooooooooooo tiny! I was expecting a little boy....this was a baby. A little baby! We are all standing around for a second and I'm ready to pounce on him.
We did all of our paperwork, and after about 2 hours I prepared a bottle for him. I was a bit nervous because of his open palate, well, he taught me that he will eat and drink whatever is in front of him. The nannies had given him some cookies and he was munching away. So, in went the nipple and down went the milk! He guzzled it down in no time. I am amazed by his eye contact. We got lost in each other's eyes as I fed him. He even gave me a half smile as he drank his bottle! He is sooooo very thin though, and has some eczema, although not too bad, and a bit of a cough....other than that, he seems very healthy!! THANK YOU, LORD!
Harrah's had given us a book as a gift called "When I was born in China". I brought the book with me and had the orphanage director write Kai a message. He wrote a full page!! I haven't had an opportunity to ask our translator to read it to me, but I will. But what makes me happiest is that he gave us his phone number AND email address! I will try and keep the contact and send pictures so that he sees how much Kai will always be loved and well cared for. After all of the paperwork was done (about 3 hours later) we took a family picture with the orphanage director and the deputy director and off we headed. Back to the hotel!
Ahhh...I had forgotten to mention that it was about 80 degrees here today. Kai arrived in a thermal suit, with a sweater and a long sleeved shirt underneath. Along with leggings and thermal pants. I slowly peeled off the layers at the Civil Affairs Office. When we arrived at the hotel, we came upstairs and decided to give him a bath. He was sweating profusely from all of those clothes. I laid him on the bed and started removing clothing. It made me so sad to see how thin he was. Then, to my shock I noticed a rope around his diaper. I am assuming it was put on to make sure the diaper didn't fall off, but it was wrapped so tightly that he had marks on his hips 3 hours later. I can't thank the Lord enough for having sent us this little creation. I promise with all of my being that he will be so loved and cared for. Never will he have to deal with lack of food, being hot or cold or even having ropes tied to him. My heart aches thinking about it. That said, it was evident that they loved him so very much. I was holding him and from across the room he caught a glimpse of his nanny and then the adorable little glee came screeching out! Oh my God, how can I be so in love with this little person so soon after seeing him!! My heart swells with pride with each of my children and for the fifth time in my life now, I can say that I am totally and unconditionally, forever in love! He is PERFECT!!
By the way, Grandma Bombardier...he is obsessed with the little Kai Bear you gave him. It is now a permanent appendage to him! :)
I will write later about the rest of our day, but for now.....here are some pictures and videos.
Scott, Ohilda, Amanda and a very proud Grandmother, Abuela Titi