Before I start on how we're moving along, I really want to say thank you. I know I've said it throughout the journey and while we were in China but I want those of you that have left comments on both the blog and the guestbook and emailed me privately with your own experiences and those that I know are consistently praying for us to know, that your words and prayers mean so very much. They have pulled me through dark moments and lifted me up even higher when times are good. I have kept the scriptures you've emailed and read them at the appropriate times. God's word always heals. Thank you!!!!!
I also wanted to share my experience of what happened the night we spent in Detroit before heading home. We had dinner at went back to the hotel. At about 8 p.m., everyone was exhausted and headed to bed. I slept soundly until about 2:15 a.m. I had been so very tired before going to bed that I had said I would shower in the morning. So, when I awoke at 2:15 and saw that everyone was sleeping, I thought it would be a good time to spend some relaxing time in a hot shower. I gathered my stuff and went into the bathroom. While in the shower, I started thinking about how difficult a time I was having with Anna Grace. How I knew that she may grieve a lot, but it has been so very different from the "grieving" that I have read about. I started to pray...followed by a flood of tears. As I was standing there letting the hot water just pour over me, a hymn that I love filled my mind. Maybe some of you know it. It is called, This is the Day. So, in the midst of my feeling sorry for myself, I begin to sing this song, the only exception is that the words that I'm singing, are not the words to the song. These are words I sang:
I got out of the shower a new person. I was ready to face every challenge she threw at me, even through the lack of sleep and the jetlag. I also had in my heart to read Isaiah 41. I am HORRIBLE at remembering scripture yet for some reason, when the thought came to me to read it, I had a feeling I had read it before. So, I open the bathroom door and slowly peek into the room, the lights are out except for the bathroom light which illuminated a small area in the corner of the room. I tiptoe over to the nightstand where I knew there would be a bible (since I didn't take mine to China) and I glance at the bed. There sitting on the bed was Anna Grace, just watching me. Everyone else continued sleeping. My first thought was, "Oh God...here we go!" But then I remembered the song. I opened the drawer and pulled out the bible and then quickly scooped her up before she could start crying and wake everyone else. I grabbed her little story book, which she loves, and headed back into the bathroom. I sat on the bathroom floor and put her on my lap, facing away from me so that she wouldn't start crying. I gave her the story book and she quietly sat there turning pages, while I read my scripture passages.
I opened the bible at turned to Isaiah 41. When I reached verse 10, I realized why it sounded so familiar. How many times did I not send this same verse to others who were having difficult times either during their wait, while in China or even after they arrived home. Verse 10 reads: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. It was exactly what I needed to read at that moment. That verse and the reminder that God created Anna Grace for him, was the reassurance that I needed most to know that all will be well. I then closed the bible and held my little girl, slowly rocking her back and forth while singing to her, This is the child that the Lord has made. That moment will forever be engraved in my mind and in my heart.
I didn't expect this blog post to go so off course and I need to get back to the kids, so I will journal later about how our days have been since we've been home. The jetlag is slowly dissipating and we are feeling a bit more alive.
Today is also a very special day that is close to my heart. It is our 6th wedding anniversary.
I am so very blessed to have you in my life. You have been everything I ever dreamed of, and so much more. You are such a wonderful example of a Godly husband and a loving father. Our children are privileged to call you Daddy and I am honored to be your wife.
Happy Anniversary. I love you with all my heart.