On a lighter note....

I think I may have left you all last night with a feeling that things are disastrous here. I can assure you, they're not. For the most part, we are a very happy, busy family with a wrench or two thrown in once in a while. Hey, makes life not boring, right?

There are 3 things I want to say today:

1) I want to answer a couple of questions I've been asked.

a) Do I have regrets about bringing Anna Grace home? You guys know my blatant honesty. The answer to this question is very clearly, "NO!" I have no regrets. Maybe if you would have asked me 2 months after she was home, I'd have waivered. But now, she is MY daughter. I couldn't imagine life without her, as crazy as that sounds. When she's asleep or quietly doing something that she has her guard down, I could sit and watch her for hours. She's beautiful. She's sweet. She's loving. And she also has attachment issues. We all have our issues. That's hers. There is a hope and there is treatment. It's a slow, long process. But I would feel like there is a hole in my heart if she weren't in my life. "Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalms 30:4-5

b) Does Ann Grace have RAD (reactive attachment disorder)? No. Anna Grace definitely has mild to moderate attachment issues, but not RAD. Anna Grace has come a very long way and she is so close to being able to let herself love. There is a barrier there that we must break. I am confident it will happen, with God's strength and mercy. When it does, I know her heart will be mine as mine will be hers. She definitely has the ability to love fiercely, that's why she is hurting.

c) How do it I do it? I laughed when I read this because the answer is, "I don't know." Sometimes I think I don't do it. Actually, not true. I DO know. I do it through Christ who strengthens me. Writing out yesterday's post made me see even more how I need to lean on Him for everything. I don't know why I continue to carry this burden when He is there just waiting for me to say, "Take this from me." All I need to do is turn around and walk away. That's a lot harder than it sounds. Not sure why I want to hold on to it, but I'm slowly learning. Also, journaling my thoughts and knowing we are being prayed for when I don't have the strength to pray myself has been very helpful in getting me through the dark moments.

I really owe many of you so much! Your emails filled with scripture and love and the sharing of your own stories have filled my heart up. I know I'm not alone. I am back in the game! So, watch out, Anna Grace, because your Mama is gonna love you BIG forever 'n ever, girl.

2) I also want to mention how God totally knew that I badly needed some "sign" from Him that He is here. After posting about the song, "Go light Your World" and telling you about the song "thief's" email. I got this comment back from her. (Sally, thank you so much for affirming to me that it was God's hand involved in yesterday's little miracle!)

From the blog song thief herself, I have to say your post moved me today like no other on any blog I have read before. First for your honesty and candor about what it is like to parent a child with attachment issues (BTDT) and second, knowing that somehow God used me to help reveal His presence to you through this difficult attachment process. The miracle of it all is that I rarely ever post on someone's blog that I do not know. I do not know your story as I had just found your blog and then immediately stole your song, but your authenticity begs me to come back for more! Thank you for the post!


I want everything I do to honor and glorify our God. When I posted yesterday's post, I felt I would be judged and be frowned upon in my role as a mother. I also knew that I had prayed about posting something so private. Yet, God filled me with peace that I was doing what He wanted. Where do you think the "bad" feelings came from? I followed through and refused to let Satan steal my joy and worse yet, not allow me to share my "light" with thsoe around me! Who was glorified in the end? Our mighty God!

My dear friend, Kim, sent me this verse: "The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world" (1John 4:4) And all I gotta say is, "Amen, sister!"

3) Lastly, I want to remind you all that tonight at midnight is the last opportunity to participate in the giveaway. I am so excited!!! Anna Grace will draw a name from the bunch tomorrow morning and I will video tape it and announce the winner! My little spitfire may even have a bow on. :)

If you haven't participated yet and want to join in on the fun. Scroll to the top of the page and click under the header! Hurry....do it now!

God bless you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and support.