"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats

Monday, September 29, 2008

Finally....a date!

After almost a year to the day of OUR visit, Anna Grace will be having her syndactyly surgery at Shriner's Hospital in Tampa.

I have to chuckle at God's sense of humor though. After my ranting on a previous post that I was going to vote early to be done with the elections, the only day available that she could have surgery without having to wait until the next month is November 4th!

I'm praying hard that this surgery be the breaking point that we need so that she fully understands and accepts me as her Mama. Our little girl has indeed come a long way, but those attachment monsters have yet to cease to rear their ugly heads. The past 3 weeks have been non-stop. One night I was so exhausted and resigned to the fact that this was going to be my/our life forever that I completely broke down. I haven't done that in months.

At times it's so hard that I feel like I can't deal with it anymore. It's exhausting. I have to keep reminding myself that I can do all things through God that strengthens me. And although we've been through a year that the baby steps have added up to big steps, it's so difficult to stay focused on that. I know I don't have to explain to those of you that are going through the same issues how it drains every ounce of your being. I digress.

Going back to the surgery. We have a pre-surgical appointment on October 21, and then we need to head up there on November 3rd, in order to be at the hospital by 6:30 a.m. I'm not sure of the details of the length of the surgery or what exactly they will be doing. I will post when I know more. Of course, I will also post as the date approaches asking for prayers for my baby girl. I think I will be having to stay with her alone up there. Scott will be going for the surgery, but do to a new job and the kids' school days, it will be almost impossible for him to be there the entire length of the stay.

Again, I feel like I don't know if I'll be able to handle it all 24/7 alone, but I am looking at it as if God had made all the arrangements and that she will indeed see that I am there for her through her pain and confusion, without ever leaving her side. They did inform me that they have "cottage rooms" for the parents to stay at during the night, but I told them that I would be by her side the entire time, so a room is not necessary. That'll even include meals since they work similar to the hospital where Kai had his surgery and they bring 1 parent up a meal with the child's meal. Hence, no reason to leave her side.

I pray daily that not only her surgery go perfectly, but that her little heart be healed at the same time. That she no longer see herself as a stranger in our family unit. Don't get me wrong, she laughs, plays and is involved in all that we do as a family, but it is still all at our request. Never does she "join in on the fun" without standing back and watching to see if she is invited to play with Scott, Amanda or myself. It's very sad.

She is still receiving speech 2 times per week and her communication is much better, but I do know that there are many times that she doesn't completely understand what we are saying or she doesn't know how to express her feelings. We are working hard on both.

Oh...lastly! I am impressed at the number of responses (and lurkers) that have commented for the giveaway. Thank you! If you haven't signed up yet, you have until this Friday at midnight. I will videotape Anna Grace drawing the winning name on Saturday morning and post it right away!

That's it for now. I have lots of cute pictures to share and will be doing so soon, so please be sure to check back.


Barbie said...

I will be praying that the hospital stay will be a true time of bonding for the two fo you. She has come so far and I know God still has big plans. :-)

Michelle said...


I am so glad that you have the date for her surgery. I am sure that will be a big relief to have it done and over with.

And girl....you should e-mail me when you are having a bad week or weeks...I am here to listen and UNDERSTAND! Our last few weeks have been rough, too. Is there something in the air? We can commiserate together. Sophie has done some new things this past week that are too "not pretty" to put on here. Write me sometime. : )

Sherri said...


I'll be praying for the surgery. I'm sorry you are having to deal with attachment issues. She will get it one day. I'll be praying.


mommy24treasures said...

so glad you hve a date set, I have heard over and over the Shriners are wonderful in Tampa.
we will be praying...

Nicole said...

Ohilda, We will be praying for you. I could feel the intensity that you have to resolve the attachment issues. I know I already spoke to you about our situation. I pray that the Lord heals both of your hearts and that this situation becomes a distant memory. The Lord is working and who knows.... the Lord may be lining you up to do His work in some special way on someone else who is having this same issue.

and hey... you should post for Not Me Monday! :-)

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you are still having difficult days. I will pray for your sweet Anna Grace's surgery and for emotional healing.


Walker said...

I'll be praying that all goes well with the surgery.

The Byrd's Nest said...

Ohilda, I will be keeping your precious baby in my prayers especially for her attachment. I just had this conversation with a friend of mine at the zoo today about Emma Jane. If I look back a year ago she has progressed in a huge way but sadly, I tend to look at her progress day to day (because that is real life) and I really need to cut her some slack. Lately her behavior is way out of control and may only get worse with the new changes coming up in our ministry in the mission field but I just have to pray that she will just continue to see that we will never leave her.

Ladyblog said...

I will definitely be praying for you. I would love to help in any way. I livein Tampa and if you wouldn't mind, I will check in on you while you are here....

Amy said...

Dear Ohilda, You and Anna Grace are and will be in our prayers. You've come so far together and you are so much stronger than you realize. Your strength is so apparent and your love for your kids is something awesome to behold. You guys will get through this together and God will continue to hold you in His hands all the while...With Love and Prayers, Amy

Blog Widget by LinkWithin