"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats

Monday, June 25, 2007

Baby Steps

This morning, while at breakfast we met another Florida family, The Rodins, who had received their beautiful daughter, Sophie, on the day we received Anna Grace. We agreed to meet later in the lobby to take some red couch photos together.

Today was extremely hot and humid as we set out after breakfast to go to mass. The mass was beautiful, as I remember it, all in Cantonese, but the heat and carrying a 25 lb. little girl just didn't allow me to concentrate. Although the mass was in Cantonese, Scott followed along in English and always had the proper responses at the proper times. At some points, I couldn't even remember what I was supposed to say.

That said, I must say though that God doesn't care about heat and the surroundings of where His people gather. Since I was so lost and not following along, I began to pray on my own. Suddenly, as I stood there, holding Anna Grace who was facing forward with her back to me, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit so strong that I just started bawling. I didn't want the congregation, nor Scott for that matter, to notice, so I buried my face in her back and let the tears mixed with sweat to fall on her dress.

I wasn't sure if I would blog about this, but I decided that I wanted to document the entire journey including those moments that are not "sugar-coated" moments. I have been struggling the past few days with Anna Grace, though no fault of hers. She is a beautiful, and now for the most part, happy child, who spends most of her days smiling except at nap time and bed time (which is very common for children who have been separated from everything they've ever known). But as a friend told me, it's hard to reconcile the dream child with the real child. I know these are my own issues and some that I am embarassed I even have feelings about, but I know that she is our child, that she was sent created by and sent from Heaven to be ours and that the passionate love is not always instant, but I know it will grow. I've also learned that love could come gradually and doesn't have to be that instant passion, and that it's ok to feel that way.

It's funny because a few months ago, while I was waiting, I had a Mom who I knew from emails say that she was so impressed the way that I loved my children instantly without even knowing them. She said she didn't with either of her girls. At the time, I gave it some thought and afterwards just couldn't fathom it any other way. Well, another lesson learned. And please, don't get me wrong, I love Anna Grace so very much, but the love is so different.

I've totally digressed, but again, I wanted to share my feelings. We concluded the mass and then headed back to the hotel where we were to meet our guide to take the children to an amusement park. But after walking a few blocks, the heat and humidity were pretty unbearable. So, we called Bob and told him we would pass on the amusement park and that we would take the children to the White Swan pool instead. Before going to the pool the kids took a much needed 3 hour nap...while Mommy joined them for 2 of the hours.

Going to the pool with the kids was a lot of fun. Anna Grace was a bit hesitant, but overall she enjoyed it. Kai is still a bit "ify" about the pool, but had a great time. They both did NOT like the waterfall idea so we made sure we stayed clear of it. The kids looked so cute in their swimming gear. It was really humid, but not all that hot. The water was perfect!

After swimming we came back to the room to shower and to dress for the red couch pictures.
Anna Grace looked stunning in her little chinese outfit and Kai was so handsome. We went to the same couch where I took Kai's pictures last year, and I was flooded by memories. He has come such a long way in a year. I remember last year a quiet, little toddler and this year there he stood on that couch. A confident, happy, energetic little boy!! I hope to see Anna Grace the same way in a year.

We also took pictures with Sophie, the Rodin's little girl, and of course, the must-take pictures in front of the famous waterfall in the White Swan lobby. I know this place will surely be missed when they shut down in October for a year of renovations. It truly is a icon for Chinese adoptions and we've thoroughly enjoyed our stay here.

I leave you all with pictures of today. Tomorrow is our consulate appointment and we visit Qing Ping Market and the walking street in Guangzhou. Aaaahh...yes, and Mom and I get massages! I can't wait.

Hugs to all, especially my sweet kids and family that we are missing so much.

From China with love...

Scott, Ohilda, Anna Grace, Kai, and Po-Po


Mom of 5 said...

We love your updates !!
What an amazing journey.

waiting4Isabella said...

Where are the pictures ???

geminirn said...


Just remember take one day at a time...baby steps.....everything will all work out.

BIG HUGS from Canada

Blog Widget by LinkWithin