"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

going private


Hang on.

Before everyone starts flipping thinking they will be left out of the scoop, I need to explain.

First of all, I am not going private.

I confess.

Lately, I've thought about it. A lot.

I've prayed about it. A lot.

Those who know me well, know that my life is pretty much an open book. My blog for the past almost 4 years has been a synopsis of what goes on in my head, and many times in my life.

Of course, like any parent, I protect my children and family and that's always at the forefront of my mind.

I've had many friends, especially lately, jump over to private blogs. I completely understand and support them. For me? It's not where God wants me yet and I know why.

Although this has been an extremely tough year for us, somehow I've managed to keep God front and center. In the midst of the storm, as I'm gulping water and kicking as fast as I can to reach the surface to take a gasp of air, I almost always praise Him. By no means am I saint. By no means am I perfect. Do I question Him? Way more often that I should. But again, I'm human.

When all is right with the world, it's so very easy for me to turn every blessing into praise. I think it is for most Christians.

But, how well do we do when the storm is feeling like a category 5 hurricane? What do we do then?

With each trial and tribulation, I've really learned that somewhere, somehow, the light will shine through the darkness (John 1:5). That light is His glory.

Throughout the past 4 years, I've received countless emails and comments from readers letting me know that something that I've said had affected them and/or whatever cross they were carrying at that time. That was all God.

I think about those times and am still dumbfounded. God used me, a simple, ordinary housewife and Mama, to touch someone's heart, or even to lead them to do His will. Some people I've known, others have been completely anonymous, including one I will be sharing about very soon. And that's perfectly okay because I don't need to know. God already does. But he takes the simplest of people, the ones who are completely unequipped to take on such a huge role, to do His work.

As I was pondering the huge ordeal our family is suffering through now, I decided to go through some of my archived files. I came across this one. It was written in July 2007. God immediately hit me with the answer to my question, "Should I go private and "share" what's happening with my faithful prayer warrior friends?" The reply was in a short exchange with Amanda, then only 12 years old.

Amanda: Mom, why do you blog and tell everyone about your life?

Me: Well, I don’t tell them everything about our life, but I do share whatever I can when it can be used to glorify God.

Amanda: Yes, Mom. But anything, technically, can be used to glorify God.

Me: Aaahh….exactly. That’s why I blog.

So, as much as I'd like to right now, I'm not going private.

But I do know that, although hearts are breaking, this too will pass and that the light in the darkness will shine brighter than ever. It will be then and only then that I will somehow be able to put into words the cross we've been bearing and continue to bear for the next few months. But we will rejoice with full hearts when at last, we will be able to testify to how the King of Kings carried us through the fire, unscathed. We will glorify Him as we share about when we were in the midst of the flames He taught us compassion, unconditional love, and forgiveness. Everything that encompasses what our Savior truly is.

In the meantime, I will continue to ask for your patience and most of all for your prayers, as you endure through reading my obscure and cryptic posts regarding this situation, that goes beyond our immediate family. Please pray for all involved.

I've asked over the years for God to somehow use me and my little, tiny corner of cyberspace to bring Him glory. I believe He has, even if just in a small way. I pray He continues.


He & Me + 3 said...


You are a light in blog land & you have blessed so many of us with your blog. I am so glad that for now you are not going private...I will be praying for your family during this time. God has used you to touch people.
Thank you for your stands...

Starla said...

God does use you as you share your heart--what you are going through, what you are learning, when you do the right thing, when you chose the wrong. Thank you for sharing your thoughts over the years. I am praying for you. Share what you can, don't share what you can't. We are with you...and love you from afar, my sister.

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for your family. Your blog has always been a light to me. I love how your able to glorify God, what a wonderful witness. May God bless you and yours.
Patty E.

Jill said...

Thanks Ohilda!
Your blog has always been an inspiration to me!
In my prayers!

Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

Private or not, you and your family is a blessing!

Holly said...

I just keep praying O. Did you read my facebook stat- how he uses the broken pieces to create something more beautiful that we could ever imagine? I didn't learn that from Oprah. I learned that from experience.
Our God is faithful.He doesn't waste our pain.
Love you.

Sherri said...


I am standing by your side. Know that. And there are probably dozens of people who feel just like I do, that you are THEIR special friend.

Love you.

Aus said...

OK - after my heart slowed down (I was thinking about how to grovel a spot on your 'private' blog) and I read on - I got the gist....

As you will - we will support you! But there is one thought I feel a need to share - one of those old Irish sayings my mom was so proud of when I was a kid...."A burden carried by two is only half a burden each".

Regardless - we're here (both my clan and the wider blog community!)if you need anything - in the meantime at least know that we'll all be holding you in our hearts and in our prayers!

Hugs to all you guys -

aus and co.

The Princess's Mommy said...

I can't begin to tell you how many times something you have said on your blog has gotten me through some pretty dark days. I, too, believe God uses your blog to bless others (me included!) I admire you, I love you, and I am blessed to call you my friend.

Always praying,

Lauryn's Parents! said...

Will be praying. You are a wonderful inspiration.


sara said...

Ohilda, your blog is beautiful and has always been one that I knew I would find honesty and TRUTH.

Your obedience as you listen to God is so encouraging.

Praying for you!!!


Desiree' said...

God does use you through your blog!! Glad you are not going private. I have thought about it to, actually have one private blog for personal but keep the other open. Thinking that FB takes away from some of the sharing...
Praying for everyone!!

Michelle said...

I have not been able to get around Blogland as much as I would like lately and I have missed out on the last few posts. You have had such a rough year, yet through it all, your words are inspiring to so many people. Your blog is a place where I know, without a doubt, you will glorify God through your actions and your words. Your blog is a blessing to so many. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.


La Familia Garcia said...

I understand this struggle, but I also like how you included Amanda's quote! That is so true, how we are a living testimoney to our God. Thankyou for being that testimoney! To your kids, to us, to your family, and who knows how many others....who are seeing God be glorified in your life

Shanti said...

I understand about going private--glad you're not going that route, yet, though! =)

Marsha said...

Ohilda, Thank you for stopping by and praying for H. I most certainly will be praying for Amanda.


Barbara (in CT) said...

You have blessed me more times than you can know. God is using you mightily, and I love that even though it may be tough, you are obedient to His will.
Lots of love, hugs, and prayers sailing your way.

Teresa said...

Ohilda, Your public sharing of God's working in your life and the lives of those you love glorifies Him daily! Keep listening to the King of Kings and never doubt that you are His vessel, bringing His Word and love to this crazy world. Walk on in faith in the light of the Lord, my friend. And just keep swimming...you're getting closer to the shore.
Love to you and your precious family.

Amy said...

Ohilda, I came across this quote recently and it seems particularly relevant to what you are going through...and your desire to use your life to glorify God,

"I am a hole in the flute that the Christ's breath moves through...listen to this music!"

His music comes through you beautifully, O...thank you for sharing Him.

With Love and Prayers...Always

Austin said...

Ohilda, I will continue to pray for you and your family!!! If God brings you to it He will bring you through it!!!! Thank you for being an obedient servant...you have touch so many lives. Your blog has made me cry as well as encouraged me right when I needed to be! Love and Blessings to you and your family.

Sally- That Girl! said...

Oh, I am so praying over going private as well. I think that is the direction I am headed. Thank you for allowing us into your life the way you have done so beautifully and with Glory always going to God!

Karin said...

Bless your heart, Ohilda. Praying for you, sweet friend, and know that our faithful God will continue to hold you tight and bring life and light into the darkness.

Lanny said...


Tracy said...

Love love your blog! Praying for you.

JShannon said...


I have not been reading blogs and keeping up with 'friends' like I should, but I do know that your going through some tuff times right now. I would just like you to know that your in my thoughts and prayers.


Cyndi said...

Ohilda - we are two crazy Catholic women (or perhaps I should say two Catholic women that are somewhat crazy) :o) and you have blessed me in so many ways over the last four years. I realize that I "officially cyberally" (is that a word??) met you almost four years ago...when you were matched with Kai and we were matched with Lily. I cried when I watched your video of getting "the call"...I still go back and watch it on occasion...it still makes me cry...your pure, uncensored happiness at finally getting your son....You have moved me to tears and laughter on a daily basis ever since. Blessings and peace to you and those involved in this crisis in your lives. Love you to pieces and only wish I could be nearby to give you a big hug and a person to pray with. Someday I am going to call and we are going to meet in person! Take care and know that you are never far from my heart!

Jewels of My Heart said...

Yes, my friend, you do glorify God and Jesus does minister to people through you....
I will be praying for your family...
Stay the coarse....

Timmy's Girl @ Luv My Quiver Full Of Arrows said...

Oh, so glad that you are not going private.. I would miss you and how would I get a hold of you when I finally make it to FL?

That Amanda...she is one smart cookie!

Angel said...

You are so incrediable special, God wants us to minister to others. Sometimes he will deliver us from things and sometimes we have to walk through it, but He is always by our side.

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