It's Time For Some Therapy!

Here we are again. Monday. Time to 'fess up and get off my chest all those things that I did not do this week. Are you ready? I am!

It was absolutely not me who sounded like a school girl yesterday counting down the hours until "24" started. It was also not me who had a whole set up of food, drinks and demanded silence from everyone in the room the second the first "too-toom, too-toom, too-toom" (my version of clock counting down) appeared. And therefore, since those were not me, it just has to be that it was not me that jumped up out of my seat and hollered "Yeah, Jack! You're the man!" when he got his first opportunity to make the bad guy talk! Nope. That would not have been me! That would be totally ridiculous and childish! I am a peacemaker that does not condone violence, so I would never be eggin' Jack on to do those things just because I feel he's always being given a bad rap by our country after he's given up everything for it.

It was not me who left AJ and Kai with our oldest son, Adam, to watch while we went to church yesterday evening. All the while knowing that they are the two wild ones. I sweetly reminded Adam that his baby brothers love him so much (they really do!) and pleaded asked him to take care of them for an hour or so while we were gone. I reiterated to all involved that they will be good boys. It was not me that called from the parking lot at church to see how things had gone and was really not surprised flabbergasted when told that AJ and Kai were wild and that Adam had them both sitting in chairs until I got home. It was absolutely not me that laughed quietly as Adam produced a little video of the "wild ones" he had taken because he knew that I needed proof would have loved to have seen what he was referring to when he said that "they were catapulting themselves from the headrest of the couches onto the floor", as if he were not even in the room. I must say that I was indeed pretty shocked to see my two and four year old doing such a thing, since I know they'd never do it with me or their Daddy. Honestly, they wouldn't. Really.

While at the grocery store the other day, it was not me that asked the AJ if he wanted a free cookie from the bakery (they give kids 12 and under cookies for stopping by) and was totally upset when he said, "No, thank you, Mama!" It again was not me that insisted that he take the cookie anyways, because I was ravenously starving and was drooling at the thought. Furthermore, there was no way it was me that asked for said cookie from the nice lady behind the counter and when she handed it to him and he flatly again said, "No, thank you." snatched the cookie from her hand and said, "Oh, he wants it. He's just embarrassed." as I pushed my shopping cart to the other end of the store so I could gobble down the chocolate chip delight. But it was me that was a nice mama and offered AJ a bite, wishing of course that he still didn't want any. He didn't. :)

There's no way that it could be me that is so darn mad at Kiefer (our dog) for truly being the most stupid least intelligent dog I've ever had. I don't understand why he doesn't see that grass is to pee and poop on and my white tiles floors are not! It is definitely not me that spends her entire day taking him out and literally putting his nose in areas for him to sniff outside hoping that the urge will surge for him to go there. It is not me that finds herself pleading with him to "PLEASE GO POTTY!" while hiding behind the bushes so the neighbors don't see me. It certainly is not me that dances around like a maniac while yelling "Good boy! Good boy!" and fills him with treats on the rare occasions when he does this outside. Any suggestions from anyone with stupid not-so-bright doxies? He's been with us now for almost 5 months and the clean-up duty is gettin' very old!

We did not have movie night on Friday night and gather all six of us under one big comforter to watch Horton Hears a Who! I also did not beg sweet husband for an "intermission" so that we could munch on the absolutely delicious turtle brownies he had made just an hour before. It was not me that sat with a huge glass of really cold milk and a super-duper-sized brownie while asking sweet husband about when will we be going back on our diet. That would be pretty silly! Finally, as I was picking up the plates so that we could all cuddle up again to watch the movie, I noticed that Anna Grace still had left a half a brownie on her plate. It was not me that quickly gobbled it up hoping that she was all done, only to hear her say, "Where's my brownie?" as she returned from the potty! Ooops!

For more Not Me, Monday! fun click on the button at the top!