"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A "pick-me-up" for myself

I feel like I don't really have much time to breathe, and again, I am behind on responding to emails....sorry. I promise I will.

I've been having a a few down days lately. So, I wanted to share another "sign" that God gave me a not long ago to "pick me up". This has helped me let it all go and put it back in His hands.

First, you have to flashback to a couple of weeks ago when I posted THIS VIDEO in which I titled it DADDY HAS A PLAN.

I'm not sure if you noticed that I didn't comment on it. Well, I have two reasons why there was no comment. First, is because I was pretty much speechless after seeing it (if you can believe that!) and secondly because it was yet another affirmation that indeed Daddy DOES have a plan, and I wasn't quite ready to share it with the world yet.

Here is an entry from that date that I included in my personal journal shortly after seeing this at 11:00 p.m. at night. I promise it's worth seeing the video, so after reading this, please take a minute and watch it if you haven't done so already.

April 22, 2008

WOW!!! Lord you are so awesome! I have to write about something I did today. I came across someone’s blog and saw an amazing short video about how there are many millions of orphans worldwide and how we could each do our part.

Well, I was so moved by it, that I sent it to everyone on my email list. Later tonight, I come to check my email and I have a response from my sister. Her response to the video was “Just awesome !!!! If I could always live my life knowing that HIS words are not just empty words but are PROMISES and stand on that, my life would be 100x better. Thanks for sharing and reminding me to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD !!!!”

I thought, "that was a bit strange because the video really didn’t say anything about God’s promises and our trust", but I figured, it’s late, so…whatever.

Scott and Amanda happened to walk into the room when I closed the email and I immediately thought it would be good for them to see it. So, I reopen the email from my sister and click on the link I had sent her (and 50 other people). The short video opens up, but the girl starts speaking about a special needs child and nothing relating to what I had originally seen. I was so upset. I felt like a total idiot. I had sent EVERYONE the WRONG video clip. How could that happen? Where did this video come from?

I then quickly go back to Godtube and try and find the one I had seen on the blog, since I knew that Scott and Amanda were getting impatient. I found it and let them watch it. They thought it was moving, but nothing out of this world. I, too, didn’t feel as “moved” as I had when I thought I was sending it to everyone I knew.

In the meantime, I am thinking to myself that maybe I should email everyone back and say, “Sorry folks. I goofed. Here’s the REAL video clip I wanted you to watch.” But, I just figured I’d let it go and head to bed.

As I was ready to leave my desk, I was still bothered about that wrong video I sent. So, I decide to take a few minutes and watch it.

This is where our Lord comes in and knocks me back and says “TRUST ME! I HAVE A PLAN!” I sit in my chair tonight, tears streaming down my cheeks, thanking our Savior for His infinite wisdom. This was NO mistake. God wanted me to send that video out, not for everyone else to watch….but the message was for ME! He was telling me He has a plan. I need to be patient and wait and was again reminded that His plan and His timing is always perfect.

This message came at just the right time. He knew I desperately needed it. I’ve been praying daily about Liberia, about our financial situation (which needs to be addressed before any other adoption could even be considered) and about the dynamics of our family, who is now in a routine and doing so well and about the fact that Liberia’s adoptions are on hold right now. For the past two days, I’ve pondered these thoughts over and over. The more I thought about it, the less I felt like praying and the more depressed I got. I figured that the adoption thing was just a phase and that God was starting to remove that “feeling” from my heart. Even my Divine Mercy rosary that I do daily asking the Lord to reveal His plan and telling Him that I am His servant and open to do whatever His will may be, I haven’t done in 2 days.

Now I see it all so clearly. Those “pondered thoughts”. The lack of wanting to pray. That was all Satan filling my mind with lies. Making me doubt God’s promise (Yes, what the video was all about!). His faithfulness.

I’m upset at myself for falling into the trap, but I see it now for what it is. Satan doesn’t come in like gangbusters, he sneaks in subtlety, so that we can’t detect that it was him. Well, I serve a very mighty God who indeed does know my heart and does know that I just want to be obedient to His will. He intervened and showed me the truth. Thank you, Lord for watching over me and our family. We praise and honor you first and foremost, always.

Tomorrow I will go start back on the track of daily prayer and will continue to rebuke the adversary. I trust, Lord, that you will indeed continue to guide us and I know with every fiber of my being, the one you created and know everything about, that you DO have a plan for my life and it IS perfect. Your heart is so filled with love for your orphans that I continue to be affirmed that you are setting us on that path. So we wait.
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The Ferrill's said...

Ohilda this reminds me of that verse that says 'before a word is on my tongue, you know it O Lord' and He also knows when we need those 'pick me ups' and He provides just the refreshment and direction we need!
How awesome and thank you for sharing this special blessing from God!
I loved that video, by the way...

Starla said...


I'm just catching up on your blog, after not being able to check for awhile. I'm going to be praying for you and for your finances. I know that God has a plan for your family, and He will bring it to pass. I rest on that for myself as well. I have a desire to adopt again, given by God I believe, but my dh is not sure. I have held two children in my arms--3 & 4 year old bro and sis in an orphanage here in Mexico. I have been praying for them for months, and mostly that if it is indeed God's will that my dh will say yes. I'm still waiting, and it is hard, but wait I will until God gives a definate yes or no. So, I know what it is to desire---and to wait on God. Blessings to you and your family! Starla

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