"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats

Sunday, February 1, 2009

It's Monday, Folks. And We All Know What That Means

Time for some more Not Me fun! This week was not quite as exciting as last week.

I can attribute that to the fact that is was certainly not me who was coughing so hard at the grocery store that I ended up with living proof of my weak bladder on my pants. I did not quickly grab the last item on my list as I penguin-walked, while keeping my legs together, all the way to the register. This did not occur while I making sure I was hidden by the shopping cart carrying my 3 children and while my mind was thinking 100 mph in case someone commented on the fact that I had "sat on something wet" what excuse I would give. It was not me that drove straight home, plopped the kids in front of the TV and went straight into the shower. Nope. That certainly would not have been me, because having a weak bladder at my age is something very embarrassing and definitely something I would not share with the public world!

It was definitely not me that broke the most sacred of rules in our household. This would not have occured when AJ and I met some of my girlfriends for breakfast and after about an hour of chatting realized that my child was totally, bored stiff. It could not have been me that had the absolutely genius idea of letting him get out of the high chair for him to "stretch his legs". Knowing full-well what happens when he is let loose, I continued to believe that he would act his mature age of two. This was after having a talk with him and telling him that Mama would get him out of the highchair but he had to promise to stand right next to me. Needless to say, it was not me who within 3 minutes of the child's feet touching the ground had to excuse herself because he was practicing doing sprints from one end of the restaurant to another.

Furthermore, it certainly wasn't me who literally had to pull him away from the table that he had clung to when he saw me coming for him. I did not have to unclench his little fists, while he was having the mother-of-all-tantrums, as the entire restaurant looked on while he screamed at the top of his lungs, "I DON'T WANNA SIT". No sir. It really was not me that so incredibly embarrassed that I went back to our table, excused myself and said that AJ was in desperate need of nap, knowing full well he had just woken up 2 hours before that and that he was just being a plain 'ole brat two year old. There is no way that would have been me, because my child is respectful and obedient. He sits quietly coloring on his paper while his Mama converses with friends. Then he politely says goodbye as we quietly walk out the door of the restaurant.

It truly was not me who was introduced to the new intern in Kai and Anna Grace's class last week. This very nice gentleman happens to be in a wheelchair (not sure why). After meeting Mr. P. I thought it was such a great learning experience that the children could see how having a disability does not prevent you from accomplishing anything in life. This lecture went on for a couple of days until Friday morning when I was running late and was zooming down the street trying to make the green light so I could turn left on US 41 and then go into the school parking lot. The reason that I stopped lecturing the children about what an achievement it is to do everything from the wheelchair was because dear Mr. P. was almost flattened by my car as I was making my left turn. How in the world a man in a wheelchair feels safe crossing a 6 lane highway is beyond me. But I honked and he almost jumped out of his chair, not only scaring me half out of my wits thinking I had hit him, but then having my children who were safely in their car seats say, "Mama, you almost hit Mr. P!!" At that point is when I realized that I should speak to them a little about traffic and wheelchair safety. So, the lecture then went more to the tune of "you should never cross busy streets on a wheelchair. That could be very dangerous and you could even die!" They all sat wide-eyed listening. We scurried into school and the conversation was forgotten.

That was until I picked them up. When we got in the car, both Anna Grace and Kai were both very eager to tell me that they had told Mr. P. how their Mama had told them how "dangerous it was and that he should not be riding his wheelchair in the street if he didn't want to die." Needless to say, I will not be dodging Mr. P. in the mornings because it was not me that almost ran him over!

Lastly, it is absolutely, positively NOT ME that is bursting with excitement to tell you an amazing "God story" (A real short one this time. I promise) that will leave you standing there covered in goose pimples, with your socks-blown-off, and your mouth wide open. You may even experience a tear or two. I sure did! No, actually, I bawled! Doesn't that sound like the kinda feelin' you love getting? Well, make sure you check back soon because I'll be posting it within the next day or two.

For more Not Me, Monday! fun, you can head over to MckMama's blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week

PS. Since it's been a while since I've posted pictures of my sweeties, if you did not get a chance to see them earlier today, please click HERE.


Domestically Disabled Girl said...

I love your honesty! Your awesome. I can't wait to come back later and read your story!

He And Me + 3 said...

OH my...I am still laughing about the grocery store. Too funny. Glad I don't have a cough...put it that way.:)

Wayne said...

Great not me monday I love the little pictures.

I was also wondering if you would like to take part in tribute tuesday a blgo on my page it is a chance to pay tribute to some one who lights up your life. it has a mr linky so the world can see your tribute to a wonderful person.

blueviolet said...

That was awesome! Your bladder issues....funny but sad but oh so funny!

Aus said...

Morning - ya'll are giving me something to look forward to on Monday - thanks! Oh and the pictures - 'dang cute' is too mild - drop dead cute might be better! And your camera skills are really improving! But 50 being cool....when it gets to 50 in Jan or Feb - well it's time for tee shirts and shorts! :) (It was actually almost 50 here yesterday, and this morning we still had 4 inches of snow on the ground - OK - we're not Alaska - but we know cold!)

hugs - aus and co.

Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

I am 30 And I share weak bladder issues :) Well sounds like a blast!

Amy said...

If it makes you feel any better, I have been known to have a similar mishap once or twice...sigh...thanks for keeping it real, O'! :)

Big Hugs!

Tammy said...


As always you put a smile on my face. :) You are not alone, I have very recently experienced that myself. ;)

E said...

Man, you almost ran down a guy in a wheelchair. YIKES! And even worse thatyou KNEW HIM. You poor thing. I'm sure you were seven shades of red.

Jill said...

A trailer for the short story? AWESOME...love to read them!

Ahem...maybe not so good to run down the guy in the wheel chair!

Tami said...


Way to be REAL! Oh, did I laugh through this....especially the incontinence part...I can totally relate...the same thing happened to me after an intense coughing fit while I had an awful cold. Luckily this happened during the winter up here when I was wearing a long coat, thank God for small blessings!

Thank you so much for remembering us and continuing to pray. I'm hoping we'll hear something this month.

Can't wait to hear your goosebump story!

Patricia/NYC said...

OK...this post STILL has me laughing!! I've so been there...except for the wheelchair incident! ;) Thanks for keepin' it real, my friend!! OH! And your "sweeties"? Well, they sure are CUTIES!! :)

The Byrd's Nest said...

Yep...I absolutely do NOT have a weak bladder either:(

We could never even take Lottie or Emma to a restaurant until they were almost four...good times!

Michelle said...

Oh, I am so glad it was NOT you who almost peed her pants because... well, you would have had almost all of blogland doing the same. I just love your honesty. I always look forward to your NMMs.

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