It Definitely Was Not Me!

It's been a couple of weeks since I've ridden myself of any guilt, had I done anything wrong, so I figured with Christmas coming soon I'd better get back to it.

It is without a doubt not me that has been running to the mailbox every day to see where the heck my Christmas cards are! It is not me that for the first time ordered her cards early and they have not been delivered after it says they were shipped over a week ago! I refuse to admit that it is I that is obsessed with checking the mailbox several times a day, even after the mailman has gone by, in the hopes that he might have forgotten my prized package. And I know there isn't any way that it could have been me that called the inept company whom I ordered the pictures from all weekend after not having received them in Saturday's mail, only to find out that they are only open Monday-Friday. I would never have tried that same number 4 times Saturday and 3 times Sunday also with the hopes that maybe some lone worker would have decided to go in for some overtime, or even to check to see if he left his coat there and by some chance pick up the phone if he heard it ringing over and over. That would not have been me because I clearly heard the recording saying "I'm sorry. You have reached us when we are closed. Our office hours are Monday through Friday from 8 to 6 eastern standard time." Nope, that would have been ridiculous and a complete waste of time to attempt to call knowing that they were not open.

Update from a very UNHAPPY camper: I spoke to the company who printed our Christmas cards. They were shipped on the 8th. Therefore, we should receive our cards by the 29th? HUH??????!!!!!!!!! So, to my family and friends that have graciously mailed out their cards to us, we are thoroughly enjoying them to the fullest as they slowly begin to fill out the shape of a Christmas tree on our wall.

As for our cards, please be patient, you will no doubt receive them before New Years eve! Maybe you can pretend they say "Hoping You Had a Merry Christmas" instead of just plain 'ol over-used Merry Christmas! GRRRR!!!! (Next year I'm heading to Walgre*ns, for half the price!)

It was not me who went with the family to a Christmas show at a nearby church and gazed at my 3 little ones in awe of how darn cute they were! It certainly was not me that thought over and over how blessed I was to have the cutest kids in the auditorium. And lastly, it was absolutely not me who glowed with pride (although I take no credit) every time we were stopped by someone to tell us how beautiful our children were! I figured as long as I was thinking it and not saying it out loud it wouldn't be bragging, right?

Then we left said Christmas party and went to dinner. As we sat waiting for our food to arrive, it wasn't me who jumped, completely startled, as I was hit in the eye by someone who had blown the wrapping of their straw at me, all while I was singing Happy Birthday, Jesus with Anna Grace. It was not me who completely turned around to see that the culprit of said action was not the children, but indeed sweet husband, who was laughing hysterically as I rubbed my poked eye. Furthermore, to my absolute horror, it was not me that sat pretending I wasn't watching sweet husband show our 4 year old, Kai, how to blow the wrapping from the straw followed by teaching him how to perfect his aim. I did not object knowing that my sweet boy would probably not be able to blow the wrapping only to find out that those cute little lips perfectly blew the wrapping not only across the table, but hit me in the other eye! Needless to say, I was not amused although I admit that I did not unsuccessfully break out in laughter with the two of them as they high-five'd each other.

Speaking of blowing straw wrappings. There is no way that it was me that was at Starbucks, again with the family, having our coffees and smoothies last week when I suddenly bunched up the wrapper of a biscotti into a tight little ball and flicked it across the table at sweet husband. Nope, it wasn't me that totally missed sweet husband and gasped as I saw the tightly-formed little ball fly right into a man's face that was seated at the table before us. Again, it was certainly not me that slid down in my seat and said a quick prayer hoping he wouldn't realize that it was I that had been the cause of the little red spot on his forehead, but to no avail. It was not me who sheepishly looked up and said, "I am so sorry! I was playing around with my husband. I meant to flick it at him. I am so sorry." The man smiled and said, "I thought something hit me." About that time, Amanda and sweet husband had realized what I had done and were laughing so loud, along with the man, that I buried my face into my coffee and slid down in my chair until I was about Kai's height. I would never have done anything like that because that would be totally immature and I teach my children good table manners, always.

And finally, it was not me that totally and completely forgot to change A.J.'s diaper, that he had on since morning, and put him in the car as we went about town Christmas shopping for about 5 hours, only to realize it when I went to put him in his car seat and he was completely soaked. Poor baby! It was not me that then decided that he could not wait until we got home to be changed and decided to strip him in the parking lot, change his diaper and his clothes while laying in the front seat of the Mama mobile with his cute "nakey" bum being shown to all passersby.

For more Not Me Mondays, head over to MckMama's site!