"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12



“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”- William Butler Yeats





Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Many Unknowns (Part II)

(Picking up where I left off.)

.....One particular blog hit me so strongly that I had tears streaming down my face. I tried looking the other way so that Scott wouldn't see me. But he did. He didn't say a word. He knew. I then said, "Look at these children." It was a Liberian blog. Yes, God had put an African adoption in my heart.

A few nights later, I just couldn't sleep. It was a Friday night. I tossed and turned, prayed and finally drifted off. The next morning the kids had awoken and were all in our room bouncing on the bed as I was trying to fold laundry. Scott was putting some clothes away and we had CNN on the TV set.

As I played with the kids, I'd raise my eyes and watch if something caught my attention, but for the most part, I wasn't watching TV at all. A few minutes later, I hear something about a couple who felt ostracized by family and friends because they had chosen to abort their unborn fetus who had recently been diagnosed with Down Syndrome. Not once was the living creation in this woman's womb mentioned.

I can't even tell you the pangs of hurt that hearing them speak brought to my heart. My sweet nephew, Emmanuel, who is now in the arms of Jesus, was born with Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). Oh, what our family would have given for that little boy to have survived. I have several friends with Down Syndrome babies, some who are now almost adults, and those children are loving, caring and sensitive human beings. God made them perfect, maybe not our idea of perfect, but perfect in His eyes. I, again, had tears streaming down my face. When the broadcast was over, I continued folding clothes without saying anything. I felt such somberness inside. We finished with the clothes and went and had breakfast and our day began.

At about noon, I put the kids down for a nap and asked Scott if he wanted to lay down with me to take a nap. I was emotionally drained. I had now been praying for a while about our adoption, about Scott, about the horrific conditions that surround the orphans in Africa and then to see someone literally destroy a life because of the inconviences it would have been to raise a child with a medical condition was almost more than I could bear. He agreed to come lay down with me.

Since my mind was racing, I couldn't sleep. I then turned over to Scott and did my usual "Are you awake?" Something I repeatedly ask until he could no longer sleep either. :) When he finally said, "Yes". I then asked him to do me one favor. He said, "What?" I said, "Please, don't comment about what I'm going to say. Don't question it. All I want is for you to promise me that you will agree to what I am asking." He said, "Fine, what is it?" I said, "I want to you pray. Pray hard. Pray about us possibly adopting another child. Please don't do this for me. I don't even know if God wants us to adopt another child. I just want you to ask God if that is His will for you. And if it is, will you be obedient to His calling? You don't have to tell me your answer. That's between you and God." He didn't respond. I looked at him and he could see the grief in my eyes and said, "Yes, I'll pray."

I then asked him if he could ever consider a black baby as his own, and love him the way that he loves Anna Grace and Kai and AJ. He looked at me and said, "Of course, my child is my child. I don't see babies for their color. They are babies." I then knew that God was in our midst.

The following day we went to church. Sometimes mass could be really distracting with these 3 little ones fidgeting, whispering, etc. This particular Sunday, they were great. We listened to mass and went up as family to receive the Holy Eucharist as we always do and then came back to our pews. Our normal routine is that we usually have one sit quietly, while we each hold one of the others and kneel down to pray with them standing between our legs, in deathgrip...heh. I knew it would be impossible for Scott to concentrate on prayer while holding AJ and I felt like God could really pass on hearing my blabber yet another time that day, so I told Scott that I'd watch all three and for him to talk to God.

Wow! He must've had a speech prepared because we usually go through 2 hymns while people are going up to receive the Eucharist and return to their seats, and Scott prays for maybe one of those hymns. Well, Scott prayed not only through the two hymns, but through the priest giving His blessing. My sister and her family were sitting behind us and she even noticed Scott deep in prayer, so much so that she glanced at me and shrugged her shoulders as if asking, "Is he ok?" At that point, no one in my family knew we had been praying about adopting another child.

We left church and headed home. I was chomping at the bit to see if God had hit Scott over the head with a lightning bolt, but as he drove he still did not comment. I bit my tongue and refrained from asking. We went home, had dinner and called it a night.

image signature

7 comments :

Walker said...

wow! I'm praying that God would reveal His Glory and His will for your sweet family!!
love you!
Keisha
waiting for the next update!

Janette said...

OMG, I know this may sound crazy, but as I finished reading this ..."Mother's Day" suddenly came to my mind!!
I have a powerful feeling that on Mother's Day, Scott will have your answer.
How exciting!!!

Hugs!
Janette

The Ferrill's said...

Oh Ohilda, WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!
I can't wait to hear the rest of God's plan!
How wonderful that your sweet husband is willing to pray over your burdens; I'm praying for your family and look forward to part III! ;)

Becky said...

DON'T STOP THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHMYGOSH WHAT A CLIFF HANGER!!!!!!!!!
I AM HEADED FOR THE AIRPORT GETTING ON A FLIGHT TO FL AND RINGING YOUR DOORBELL AT 3AM SO YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT COMES NEXT...

Hey, Taxi!!!!!
xoxoxoxox
B

The Princess's Mommy said...

As always, your faith amazes me! You are awesome and I can't wait to see what God has in store for you and your sweet family. What an inspiration you are!!
Love,
Monica

Waitingfaithfully said...

Following along dear friend . . . He is ABLE!

Blessings~

Tina

Aus said...

OK - this is really no fair - I waited patiently until this morning for part III - and didn't say anything yesterday for fear of treating you journey too lightly - but I'm going to get worried soon! Feel our support and hugs - and know that God is hearing our prayers for your discernment - now post!

aus and family

Blog Widget by LinkWithin