Real or not real?

DEFINITELY......REAL!

It is a rare occasion when I go out with the kids without someone, somewhere commenting on either all of them, or singling one out. I've come to recognize "the look" right before the questions start popping and the questions are usually the same ones, so I have my pre-set answers prepared. Actually, it's kinda funny because Amanda now knows all the answers by heart, and I've let her answer sometimes....heh. The other day we felt like we were being stalked while walking through Wal-Mart.

A lady with 4 kids of her own, quite obnoxious teenagers I must say, came up to us while I waited at the deli for some chicken wings. She said hi to the kids who were all in shopping carts. The kids, used to being spoken to by strangers now, just looked on. I turned and said, "Someone is saying hello....can you say hi?" They all gave her a sheepish grin and muttered a quiet hello. Funny because when they are not being spoken to, they could be heard 4 aisles down. I digress.

Anyways, the lady says, "Are they siblings?" I said, "yes...they are all mine". She then said, "No, I mean the Chinese ones, are they biological siblings?" I said, "Oh. No, they are not biological siblings." I smiled and turned around waiting for the man behind the counter to finally weigh the wings. She then says, "They look like twins." I said, "Yes, I get asked many times." Then she said. "How old were they when you got them?" By now, I'm almost ready to leave the wings there. "I said, "22 and 26 months". This was followed by her asking, "Have you had them long?" I was so close to saying, "Are you writing a book?" But, I was polite and said, "He's been home for a year and half and she's been home for 4 months." I then turned my entire body around and faced the case where the food was. The woman then turns to Amanda and says, "So, do you like having all these little ones?" Amanda shrugs her shoulders and said, "Yeah, it's ok." Amanda is not too big into the questioning by strangers either. Finally, the wings are handed to me and we bolt out of there, listening to the woman "Bye kids! Bye-Bye.", as we race away from the deli section.

About 10 minutes later, Amanda dragged me to electronics because she wanted to see some MP3 players and lo and behold, who should we find coming behind us, but the woman from the deli. I tried to turn the cart that I was pushing, but Amanda walked straight into her with her cart, which held Anna Grace. The woman then says to Amanda, "My daughter who is 15 wants to know how old you were because she felt bad for you." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Amanda said "13 and smiled". I couldn't think of what to say, so I just laughed and walked away. She then turns to all of the kids and says, "I'm starting to think you all want to go home with me because we keep running into each other." UGH! I again started pushing my cart, and said..."Amanda, come on. We gotta get home." That was enough for us to head straight to the checkout lines.

As I said earlier, although I can't say I'm crazy about it, I tolerate the questions, but I was pretty taken back when I met some moms from Kai's school for breakfast the other morning. There we were, at the table, 5 ladies and Anna Grace and AJ at each side of me in their highchairs. Amanda and Kai were at school.

The small talk began, which of course started with the children and how wonderful it was that we had adopted them, yada....yada...yada. Then I mention something about "Yes, adding 3 kids in 14 months to a household is a big change." All of sudden, one of the mom's said, "I don't know how you even considered adopting while being pregnant." It took me a second to figure out what she was saying. Then I realized that since I've only known this women for a little over 4 months, she must think that AJ is my biological child. I said, "Oh no! He, too, is adopted. We were blessed with him at his birth and he was only 6 days old when we left for China to bring Kai home." With a look of total surprise, she said. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought he was your REAL son!" I think I physically used one hand to pull the other up to my jaw to close my mouth. Your sorry? My real son? The only thing I could bring myself to say was, "He IS my real son! You don't have to be sorry."

I know that many times, it's just ignorance that brings people to say stupid things and I usually use the questions to educate others about adoption and how there is absolutely no difference in my feelings for my children, adopted or biological. But sometimes it annoys the bejeezus out of me. My children, are well, my children. Plain and simple. They are all REALLY my children.