......IT WASN'T MY FAULT! I had this whole thing done once already, and when Ohilda posted it , it wasn't connected online, and dumped it. So so unfair, especially since she said it was MY fault! Once again, as a good husband, I said, " Sure Honey..... ", and kicked an egotistical arrogant cleft doctor in the shins!! I feel better!
OK, I'm going to do this again! Let's see.. ummmm.. ok, let's start with the ego trip doctors at Health Park, no wait! Ohilda covered that. Ok, its Thursday afternoon, and we're waiting for the nurse crew to tell us when the helicopter is on its way. We've only asked Peggy ( The head nurse ) about 20 times, Ohilda seems to forget we humans have the ability to remember things, but considering the fact the doctors there continued to forget what the last doctor said, I could see her point! God, what a rough time we had!
Anyways, around 2:30 I think, Peggy comes in and says, " I have news for you, they just called from Miami and the helicopter will be here in 20mins.! " Ohilda's tension factor shot up 200%, considering the fact she wanted as much notice as possible so she could drive to Miami to be there when Kai and I landed ( yea! I was on a helicopter! ) ( oh yea, Kai too! ) O gave the two of us a quick kiss, and she disappeared in a flash!
Well, this is where the fun began. As Daddy, it was now my job to keep Kai calm and cool as the transfer was being made from one hospital to the next. So I pushed hard on the helicopter ride. But Kai, the poor kid, he's been through hell, and he's not a dumb kid, he was very wary of everything. It's funny, I noticed with Kai, when he's nervous, he keeps his head still, and will look at everything out of the corner of his eyes, as if to say, " If they can't see me paying attention to them, they won't bother me! " So as the helicopter flew in overhead, I said, " Listen Kai! The helicopter's here! " And he said, "Yeaaaaaaa! " So I was pumped that this might go rather smoothly after all.
It was then that I bent down and looked him in the eyes and said, " Kai Kai, we're going to be moving to another place in the helicopter, and there's going to be a lot of people that's coming here soon. But listen to me, there's going to be no boo boos, OK? Daddy promises, no boo-boos. " He just looked at me, and nodded OK. This is where the first of 4 different doctors in white lab coats began entering the room, making last minute checks and bringing me paperwork. Kai went into a statue mode every time he saw a lab coat. At one point, there was 2 air paramedics, 2 nurses, and 2 doctors in the room. Kai's eyes were darting all over the place! I kept saying to him, " Don't worry, no boo-boos Kai, it's OK. " And he was great..... UNTIL..........
We moved him from the bed to the stretcher, and he was rigid, as expected. But when it came time to lie him back and strap him in for the trip, Kai CLEARED THE ROOM! His primal scream tore off heads and limbs of innocent bystanders..... in the next county!!! I felt so bad for him as I kept saying, " Kai! It's going to be OK! Relax! " Nope! The Air Medic strapping him in had to cling to the stretcher himself for fear of being blown threw the third story window! And we were on the 2nd floor!!!
Finally, he was strapped down ( he didn't fight it , mind you, he just hated to be pushed down to lie down. Every time it happens, he gets prodded or poked or something else evil ) and we began to roll out of the room. Did Kai stop there? Heck no!!! As we rolled through ICU's hallways, Kai casually continued to let us know, " Hey! Guys! I'm just not happy with this! ", as he continued to screeeeeeeam through Pediatrics ICU, down the halls of this prestigious hospital, into an elevator with 5 people ( Kai screamed, and their shadows are all that's left, burned into the elevator's walls, forever ), and through the perimeter ... until he saw the open door with daylight streaming in.
He toned it down a bit, from 500 decibels to 100 decibels, and as we rolled outside to this spectacular yellow and red helicopter, he decided he would spare the rest of our lives, and stop crying. Poor baby!
As we rolled up, the Air Medic opened the helicopter's door, and said," Kai! Are you ready to fly in my helicopter? " , and Kai's eyes lit up! He then gave Kai a toy replica of the helicopter, and that made Kai's day! But still he wasn't speaking, eyes darting everywhere, still wary of the situation. Just then, the Air Medic took out a big syringe full of Kai's IV solution from his flight bag, and I think I heard the sound of Kai's eyes popping out of his head! If you're a Looney Tunes fan like myself, you know what I mean! "POP! POP!"
I said, " No Kai, its not for you, no boo-boos, remember? It's OK! ", and gently pushed his eyes back into his sockets. He just gave me this look. I think its a look Chinese give Americans when you barter price with them in China. That "I'm looking at you, and then I'm dropping my eyes away from you" kind of look. It was understandable, considering half of Florida is in ruins from his screaming.
We strapped into the helicopter, and they offered us headphones for speaking to each other and to block out the loud helicopter noise that was soon to come. Kai looked at the Air Medic and shook his head rapidly. I think if that set of headphones was made of chocolate, he wouldn't have touched them! There was no way this little man wanted anything else attached, poked, or prodded into him.
So we took off, and he started to lighten up when he had his toy in his hands and was looking outside the window. The Air Medic offered him the headphones again, and he agreed! When he put them on, I kept saying, " Kai Kai! We're flying on a helicopter! Woohoooo! ( Hey! I was excited, come on! ) Say Hi so I can hear you Kai! Do you like the ride?" Nothing. Not a word. I tried for another couple of minutes to get him to speak, with no success. I gave in, and continued to take pictures ..... HELLOOOOO! Of course I'm taking pictures! I'm in a HELICOPTER! And of course, if I didn't, my wife would've killed me!
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Kai says, "DADDY! LOOK AT MY HELICOPTER! WOW DAD! WOW!! " I was like, " Yea Kai! It looks just like this big helicopter, huh?? " He says, " Yes! It's red and yellow too! Like this one!! "
It was at this point that Kai, the wary little boy disappeared, and Kai, the magic gift we brought home from China, kicked in. Since the headphones were voice activated, and the speakers inside played your voice for you, and you'd hear everybody else speaking, Kai began to tell all of us about his boo-boos, about how AJ broke his big toy helicopter at home, and that AJ wasn't getting this one, and how Anna Grace doesn't listen to Mama, and how he was hungry, and then he began to call in an air strike on the Iraqi insurgents living in the Everglades ( we flew over 80 miles of bleak Everglade swamp land ), and to finish it off recited the State of the Union speech to Congress.... without a teleprompter! Let's see ya do that one, President Obama!! LOL!!
He had everyone laughing the whole trip, but until I said, "OK Kai, we're almost there, we're going to be landing soon!" and Kai said in his cute kid voice, " ooooooookayyyyyy ", that it was then the pilot starting laughing, saying over and over again, " ooooookaayyyyyy, ooooookayyyyyy!" Kai was all excited about the landing, as he watched out the windows and laughed.
And we arrived without incident, and checked him into the PICU, where he was bombarded with great nurses and toys and nurses and toys and nurses who all said, "Oh my God! He's so cute!" , and more toys and more nurses who said, "Oh my God! He's so adorable!", and more toys and ... well, I don't think I need to continue, since its yet to stop!
It's now Saturday morning. I spent my first night with Kai as Mama went to the apartment to catch up on sleep. I wanted to say thank you to all of you who are praying for us and my little man, as well as the rest of my clan (I miss my Anna Grace. Amanda and AJ ). And I'm sure I'll be back soon, when Mama lets me out of my cage. :)
Scott ( Who loves his wife dearly ) Bombardier
